A lot of people subscribe to the 10-date rule, also known as, if you've been on ten dates, then you're probably in a relationship. If we apply the 10-date rule, a calendar of appointments once a week puts the relationship marker at three months, while a twice-a-week situation causes you to boo in about a month and a half. For help answering these questions, we turned to Sarah Kahan, a licensed clinical social worker in Brooklyn who helps individuals and couples manage their relationships. While there's no set rule about when a relationship should become official, she suggests signs you should pay attention to that could show that you're ready.
Six dates are a good guide to how long, at least, before making a relationship official, but there are exceptions to that rule. By the second or third date, you should have a pretty good idea of whether you like this person enough and if they're a good match on paper. The five-date rule is the understanding that if you've had five dates with the person, you should make your relationship official. Some believe it's an indicator of when you should sleep together for the first time. It can be frustrating to talk and date without a real definition of the relationship, but it's essential to remember that the first few months of dating consist of evaluating each other to determine if you're a good match.
So, if you were to ask me how many dates before making your relationship official, I admit that I would be perplexed. In comparison, however, a certain number of dates with another person may be more than enough to know that they want to take things further with each other. Casual dating for some people means that one is free to go out and have sex with several people, since they are not in an exclusive relationship. In addition to going on a certain amount of dates before making a relationship official, some people try to consider a number of things before becoming an official element with someone. Between the third and sixth date, it's highly recommended that you take a moment to reflect on how you're feeling in the relationship so far.
You might want to be exclusive after four dates, or you might feel comfortable waiting until appointment ten before making that change. In fact, some people only use these considerations instead of a set number of dates before establishing a committed relationship. It's much more important to consider the quality of the connection and conversation than the number of dates. A dater may feel like they're still struggling to get to know the other person after 12 dates, but then feel a strong connection with another person after just three or four dates. To a certain extent, while a certain number of dates to mark on your list have a good intention behind it, it will prevent people from feeling the thrill of meeting someone special for the first time. Although the acceleration could come in the form of engaging dates, few meetings can hardly help someone decide whether or not they have found the “one”.
As daters try to learn from each other, seeing themselves in different circumstances can move things forward or help them decide that they are not the right partner. The best way for daters to determine if they're a good fit is to have quality conversations on their dates and do things that match their values.